BEHIND THE SCENES OF MY MARRIAGE: Happy 2nd Anniversary To Us!
Hiya.
Yesterday Alex and I celebrated our two-year wedding anniversary!!! It’s been a wonderful year. We have both grown a lot and it has been fun building our married life together.As I say to him all the time, I am so happy we got married. I’m so happy that we chose each other. He’s the nicest guy I ever met. He’s also very cute
I’ve been reflecting on my year as a “married woman”. Over the past year, I have been asked the same questions over and over again. Some are challenging because they are related to identity, our future, and our values. As you know, I am committed to always getting down to the nitty gritty and I am sharing these questions and answers with you today.
In no particular order, here we go!
1. Do you feel “done”?
I love this question! I know why people ask this. Being single comes with boat loads of stress. There is rarely a time that a single woman walks into the room without quickly scanning for other single people, potential dates, and navigating a small dose of insecurity. There is also sometimes shame being the single gal in the crowd. When people ask me if I feel “done”, I think they’re asking if that feeling is over.
Many people believe that marriage will automatically make you feel happy, complete, and “done”. I can understand this belief. Most of my single friends and clients just want to be done already and check off getting married from their to-do list. They often believe that once you get married, an entire area of your life will be tied up in a pretty bow and you’ll never have to work in that area again. To me, I never had the feeling of being “done” because the feeling of starting something new was more prominent.
2. When are you having babies? You need to start soon.
I have had this question and comment so many times that I can’t even count them. Comments have included “You’ll probably have problems so it’s better to get started”, “How old are you?”, “Are you trying yet?” and “You’ve known each other for so long so you have no real excuse to wait”.
When people ask us about having kids, I know it is mostly their own anxiety, issues, and beliefs about what it means to start a family. That being said, fielding these questions can be upsetting because people are implying that we are doing something wrong. It can sometimes be hard to not fall for the propaganda. My thought process when someone says something like that is often OMG –> WTF –> LOL. After the initial shock that someone would actually comment about something so personal, I can easily snap myself back and remind myself that this has nothing to do with us! Alex and I get to make up our own rules.
3. Your husband works at night. How do you deal?
A lot of people have questions about what I do at night and how I deal with him being out most nights. This is how I deal: I LIVE MY LIFE! I work at least 2 evenings a week and I have a full life of friends, dinners, courses that I’m taking, swimming, and of course, keeping up with my commitment to the Real Housewives. And, guess what! Sometimes when he’s off, I still go to work and out with my friends and he does his own thing like watch the Baltimore Orioles lose games (with subsequent sadness and defeat), hit the gym, take an improv class, and meet his friends for dinner. Keeping up with our own friends and interests helps us stay happier as individuals and, as a result, we show up happier in our marriage.
4. When are you changing your name?
Short answer: I’m not. Changing a name is a very personal choice. For me, I feel very connected to my name because it’s 100% mine. I like it. I’ve had since the day I was born. It’s all mine. I earned my title of “Doctor” and I feel proud of it. I want my parents to have pride about a little Dr. Lasky running around New York City. Not only do I feel connected to my name but I also feel very connected to my husband. I don’t think our connection would improve if I took his name. If anything, maintaining my own identity, professionally and personally, brings me fulfillment which helps me show up stronger in my marriage. Also, I think Dr. Elizabeth Lasky has a nice ring to it, no?
5. How do I get “THAT”?
THE MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION. This is my most favorite question because I believe I have the answer. Getting married and cultivating a fun, loving, and healthy relationship is possible for you. I know this to be true because I created the formula to get it and I am proof that it works. This is how you get “it”: You create a vision of what you want. You commit to yourself. You take action. You embrace vulnerability. You roll with the ups and downs. Simple. That’s it. If you’re in it to win it, you will win. My money’s on you.
Off to drink more champagne. Hopefully in a canoe in the middle of the lake together. That’s my favorite place to be.
Big Love,
Dr. Liz
PS | There’s still time to join us for my *FREE* telesummit, “21 Ways To Get What You Want: Love Edition”. Join me and 21 experts dishing about love. It’s something I am so incredibly proud of and I want to share it with YOU! Link is HERE!